Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hippies beating eachother up makes everything better.

Holy crap. What a terrible day. The funniest bad part of it was the fact that our Internet/e-mail/network at work was down. Everybody was freaking out trying to find things to do. Every time I came up with something I realized I needed a computer. On a similar note...

Have you noticed how useless people are becoming? Everybody has a story about things their parents can do that they can't. Build a house. Make jam. Make bread from scratch. We're basically a useless bunch of tits (not that tits are useless) compared to our parents. Sure, we make up for it by accomplishing such meaningful tasks as:

- Using a cellphone
- Typing e-mails
- Playing video games

We don't even know how the things work that we use and feel all high-tech about and as soon as they stop working, we're fucked. So, getting to the point, if we're this useless, how useless are our kids going to be? Everybody talks about how competitive University is these days and all that. I call bullshit. I think the next generation of kids is going to be a useless bunch of mouth-breathing retards incapable of defrosting a frozen dinner entree. Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.

So, back to the bad day. Apart from the computers I:

- Almost exploded at work under fears that next weeks vacation was going to be taken away from me (it wasn't...but I still have a bad feeling about it)
- Spent $400 having my windshield wipers repaired. What the hell?
- Nearly T-boned a car that tried to turn in front of me.
- Almost got T-boned on my bike by a woman that ran a stop sign.

I don't know. There's other things. But, this story about peace-loving hippies beating eachother up with shovels made my day. Somehow. I'm sick like that.

And, in celebration of the upcoming Pemberton Festival, I have one final point. I've come up with the ultimate simile/metaphor/comparison for music festivals. Music festivals are the live music equivalent of a trip to Las Vegas. Or a cruise. Think about it. Live music is about so many things. Atmosphere. Proximity. Timing. Location. Vibe. Etc. These festivals basically discard most of what makes live music great (in my mind) and jam a whole bunch of bands and a whole bunch of people into one easy-to-experience watered-down weekend. Just like Las Vegas. Las Vegas has become the place where people that are too lazy to experience the real thing go to experience New York, Italy and Paris which a bunch of other fat, lazy tourists. Or to go get really wasted and fuck strangers. You see what I'm saying?

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